Saturday, August 30, 2008

Canada's Upcoming Elections

It is likely that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper will call for elections by October 14, 2008. Talks with Liberal party leader Stéphane Dion and Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duseppe have lead nowhere. Talks with New Democrat party leader Jack Layton will most likely also yield nothing. It's just as well, for the Tories.

I think Mr. Harper is eager to take on the Liberals, the Bloc and the New Democrats. Canadians are a little nervous about Canada having been governed by a minority government for so long. While the Finance Ministry is playing with statistics to deny that Canada is in recession, the fact is that many Canadians already believe that the country is in recession. As well, the war in Afghanistan doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon.

However, the Tories are expected to make a strong showing in Quebec, projected to win about 30 per cent of the ridings there if elections are held. Before the sponsorship scandal, the Tories were completely shut out in Quebec. The province was a meat tortière to be divided between the Liberals and the Bloc at Christmas time. But not any more: better save some for the Tories.

So what's happening, and what's on Mr. Harper's mind? The Canadian economy's weak showing in the past year can be linked to the weak US dollar. When the Canadian and US dollars are at or near par, that means Americans would rather stay at home than make Ontario theirs to discover. More importantly, a weak US dollar means lower profits for Petro Canada and other business that deal with the US. Lower trade barriers and a weaker Canadian dollar vis-a-vis the US dollar had worked to Canada's advantage in the past. Remember when BC could flood the US with it's lumber?

However, the US economy had a strong showing the last quarter (up 3 per cent) while Canada's economy barely grew at 1 per cent. Mr. Harper is gambling that happy days for the US will mean happy days for Canada.

As well, Mr. Harper is at his best when he is campaigning. Many Canadians are not as blasé about social issues like gay marriage as people living south of Point Pelée might think. Remember, many Canadians share Mr. Harper's evangelical Christian faith. Where else else but Canada could a staunch Catholic and abortion opponent like David Kelley of New Brunswick refuse to pay his taxes as a protest against abortion and not go to jail? Certainly not the US.

Over the past 15 years, the centre-left parties in Canada have been asleep at the wheel. The Reform, Alliance and Progressive Conservative parties have united to form the Conservative Party of Canada while the Liberals, Bloc Québécois and New Democrats are still divided. The centre-left parties will have to unite, or they will soon be traunced at the polls. It may not happen in 2008, but it will happen.

The multi-party system in Canada is near an end, but the Liberals, the Bloc and the New Democrats just don't get it.

This writer's projection: the Tories will surprise all the "experts" and win a majority in the elections that are sure to come.

After the Inauguration...

Vice-president Sarah Palin's husband, Todd, allegedly tried to use his new security clearance to break into the White House and assassinate the President while he slept in the Oval Office, with help from a few of his salmon fisherman buddies from Alaska. The attack occurred hours after president-elect John McCain was inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States on January 28, 2009.

John McCain was asleep in bed with Sarah Palin when he heard a curtain rip after a fishing lure snagged it. The President then used the martial arts training that he had learned in the Navy during the Vietnam War to fend off his attackers before Secret Service men arrived and disarmed them.

McCain assumed a martial arts stance as he told the White House press corps how he faced his attackers. Most of the press seemed to believe that McCain was telling the truth, though Helen Thomas remained skeptical.

"There was about six of them," McCain told a press conference. "I stopped about five of them before I found myself one on one with Todd Palin. Then, about four or five Secret Service agents burst in. They had trouble finding Todd at first, because it was dark and they were still wearing their sunglasses.

The President added, "We need night vision sunglasses for our Secret Service men, so that they can see better at night."

Because Thomas expressed doubt that McCain faced his attackers alone, her White House press pass was revoked. However, the White Press secretary claimed that Thomas' skepticism had nothing to do with her losing her press credentials.

Vice-president Palin immediately disavowed any prior knowledge of the assassination attempt. "I can't imagine Todd ever doing something like this," she said. "I thought he was home taking care of our baby, Trig. I had no idea what was going on."

Then the Vice-president added, "I guess Trig isn't the only member of my family who's retarded..."

The motive for the assassination attempt is still unclear, but there are allegations that the Vice-president's husband wanted to kill McCain so that his wife would immediately become the President. Sarah Palin would become the first woman President of the United States if McCain died in office.

Former President Bill Clinton said, "It's a good thing that Barack Obama didn't win the election and my wife, Hilary, didn't become Vice-president. Otherwise, I could also be falsely implicated in an assassination attempt on the new President."

Comedian Chris Rock said, "Now you see why John McCain didn't choose Alan Keys as his vice-president? Some brother would have shot McCain's a--, and Keys would be the new president. No brother would have missed."

Some Senate and House Democrats are calling for an investigation of the Vice-president's role in the assassination attempt. An aide to Sen. Joe Biden said, "How can the Vice-president not know what's going on in her own household? If she doesn't know what her husband is up to, how can she be expected to know what White House staff are up to, let alone the country. This is Washington DC, not Juneau, Alaska."

Biden ran unsuccessfully for Vice-President on the Democratic party ticket with Barack Obama. After another close race in which Florida again decided the election, Biden had expressed doubt that the election was fair. McCain won 35 states while Obama only won 13. Ralph Nader, the Green party candidate, won Washington and Oregon. It was the Electoral College again.

Sen. Obama commented, "When I said that it was time for a change, an assassination attempt on President McCain was not the kind of change that I meant."

A few seconds later, Obama was heard to say before an open mike, "But we'll take it."

Obama later disavowed the comment and said that he was "misunderstood."